Friday, 5 April 2013

Minis on bodas should probably never be seen, but now they could be BANNED.

The Daily Monitor miniskirt splash.

Bodaboda Baby was going to bring you a follow-up on her boda accident, after making a police statement on Wednesday, in this post. But following the breaking news that the Ugandan government is tabling a bill to outlaw miniskirts, which the author of this blog is assuming will apply to bodas (she's currently trawling through news reports looking for a clause which specifically mentions motorbikes), she's had to turn her delicate mind to more urgent matters.

Yes, that's right. For those of you who are yet to hear the news, today's Daily Monitor has reported that sporting a mini "could soon land one in jail or attract heavy fines if Parliament approves a new piece of legislation that seeks to further clarify the offence of pornography in Uganda's laws".

According to the story, pornography has become an "insidious social problem" in Uganda. Those found guilty of abetting it face a fine of 10 million shillings under the draft law or a prison sentence of up to ten years, or both. Streeeewth.

The bill "prohibits any combination of the preceding that depicts unclothed or under clothed parts of the human body such as breasts, thighs, buttocks and genitalia, a person engaged in explicit sexual activities or conduct", the paper says.

One friend, a mzungu who shall remain anonymous, replied to my posting of the story on a social media network saying, "The Uganda parliament's next genius move....could it be fixing the roads...building roads...providing a decent education system.....offering its citizens some form on health service...stopping itself from stealing its own people's money....paying teachers and other public no. It's this. Awesome."

Some of the chatter on Twitter - the hashtag #SaveTheMiniskirt soon popped up after the story broke - was particularly entertaining. "Some men dress indecently with ill fitting trousers. Where's the Ill Fitting Trousers Bill?"  pointed out @kasabiiti.

Now let's get one thing straight: Bodaboda Baby has never worn a mini on a boda, mostly out of fear that everyone might end up seeing what she had for breakfast and although she has established there's one power plate machine in Uganda (her addiction in her former life in London) there's not a lot of power (joke). To actually be quite honest, the author of this blog didn't actually bring a mini to Uganda simply because she's much more of a frock girl these days, as people have often commented. But in her time she has been in possession of minis, what you'd even describe as micro-minis. In fact the author of this blog can easily recall a time when she was 17-year-old and at university, and her father was helping her clean her apartment in Sydney. "Pick up that dish cloth off the floor," he instructed. "That's a skirt, Dad," she replied.

With age the hem lines have been lowered. But a large number of dresses that the author of this blog owns and wears on her bodas today are, alarmingly, above or just on the knee.She did in fact today go on an epic boda ride in a dress just slightly above the knee (a leopard print vintage Topshop number).  Bodaboda Baby also owns a helluva lot of body con - good body con, Whistles body con, she might add, but still tight.

It may be leopard print, but it's also above the knee.

And, she only has one pair of trousers that she wears in Uganda and is not a jeans girl. So today's front page of the Monitor did set off alarm bells in her head as soon as she saw it. She wonders if she is ever caught abetting pornography in Uganda by wearing a mini, if M7's officials with the rulers measuring hem to knee will make an exception for her if she tells him it's actually Reiss. Maybe not.

Thus, Bodaboda Baby will be watching very closely this yarn (read: antipodean for story), which made headlines around the world today. In its coverage of the story, The Guardian said the proposed law would "mark a return to the era of dictator Idi Amin, who banned short skirts by decree". The Daily Mail meanwhile pointed out in its headline that Beyonce would also be outlawed. Oh dear.

According to the Monitor report the draft law ran into early "turbulence" in the Legal and Parliamentary Affairs Committee yesterday after some members expressed "concerns about its implications for freedoms guaranteed in the Constitution". It's worth also pointing out that the Ugandan government tried their miniskirt ban trick back in 2008. But you never know...

On the other hand, this could be the excuse that the author of this blog needs to buy a new wardrobe. Silver lining, Bodaboda Baby, silver lining. It may also be worth pointing out there's no mention of banning red and orange lipstick, thick black eyeliner, green eyeshadow and heels. In that case the author of this blog would most likely be sent to Amin's torture chambers and her body thrown in Lake Victoria.

For anyone who does wish to still flaunt it on a bodaboda, not in a mini, there could be ways of getting around this. As  @_Daveth suggested on the Twitterverse, "If someone has a problem with your miniskirt, wear hot pants".

But - and this is a big but for Bodaboda Baby - the author of this blog can't help wondering is this really debate about minis and micro minis and mini dresses and hot pants? Is it about fashion at all?

As  suggested to the Twittersphere, "This is not about clothing. This is about control".

Photo by Teddy Tinka.

* News which is related to fashion though: Bodaboda Baby had her hair cut yesterday by a lovely bloke who also knew what he was doing at Swisscut. Afterwards she did an impersonation of what she might look like on a boda, sans helmet. She'd love to know if she got it right, so if you see her on a boda anytime soon do let her know.

* Of course Bodaboda Baby is wearing a helmet at all times these days - unless Ugandan-born milliner Linda Nakimbugwe Mirembe, who will soon grace the pages of fashion bible Vogue according to a report in the Daily Monitor, decides to do a helmet range, which her friend and former mzungu in Kampala Jennie Penhallow (that's Bodaboda Baby's friend, not the designer's, sadly) has suggested she should do. According to the report, Mirembe, who's London-based, took private lessons with the milliner who designed hats for the late Queen Mother. 

* On that note, Bodaboda Baby needs to get her helmet on and get going, but she would like to leave you going into the weekend with this lovely photo below which was taken on Ggaba Road this morning as she was rushing to get to Kisimenti. We know that the president of Uganda loves his gig, but now there's someone else.

So cute. This really made me smile this morning.

No comments:

Post a Comment